The Return of Charlotte Bumbery
by Asterisk Truly
Summary: Katie Bell's wacky cousin Charlotte Bumbery comes to Hogwarts for a visit, and weird things happen. includes flashbacks and random behavior rated for language, especially in the beginning. heh.get's funnier as it goes along! Now FINISHED! [tear] My BABY!
1. Welcome Back Bumbery!

_A/N: GUESS WHO'S BACK! I AM- AND MORE EXCITED THEN EVER! _

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the character of Bumbery, but i even took that name, but her personality is mine! YAY! oh, but most belongs to J.K.R. But, MSM, belongs to nike godess of victory (my good friend)

_A/N: this takes place in the twins' 7th year, and Harry's 5th. But the plot has nothing to do withthe 5th book, sorry. well, enjoy! OH! and italics are the flash back or thoughts, and normal font is normal story, these ' ' are something faintly heard or quoted, and these "" are speach. now, ENJOY!  
_

The Gryffindors were all gathered in the common room when they heard a crash. Harry looked at the twins who shrugged. They heard an 'ow' and a 'fuck' then a clang and a sigh. Suddenly they heard a crack of a vase falling to the floor and a 'shit' and more clanging and a 'damn it, it fell down' and a 'crap, I'm cursing again….' continued by mumbling then they heard the fat lady say, "Password." The person mumbled something sounding like, 'crap I can't remember the password, ah, fuck, oh it's - um… oh, right!' then the voice announced the password, and the portrait swung open.

Everyone was silent, when they saw who entered. It was a medium height girl with long straight rainbow hair, a nose stud, two earrings in her ear lobes and one in her cartilage. She was decked out in mood rings and a cobra ring on her pinky. She wore a shirt that said, 'Procrastinators Unite… Tomorrow' and a pair of jeans.

Harry looked quizzically at her, "Tonks?" he mumbled.

"Nope sorry Harry, I'm not Tonks, she would have said 'wotcher', but she is quite nice," The girl said.

After a long awkward silence she asked, "What is this how you always greet former teammates?"

Then they heard a squeal and Katie came rushing at her, "CHARLOTTE!" and hugged her, "It's so good to see you cuzzie!"

Then Alicia and Angelina rushed over, giving her hugs and the twins stood up and walked over to her.

"So, what'd you bring us?" Katie asked jumping up and down, like a five year old in a candy store.

"For little cuzzie Katie, I got herbal shampoo and soap," Charlotte handed her a basket, "For Alicia, The Princess Bride, Angelina, a new quiddich book," She handed the items to the correct people, and Angelina's face lit up.

"It's the new version with the updated move database and records! Thanks so much!" Angelina gushed.

"Yeah, I love this book!" Alicia said smiling.

"What about for us?" Fred whined.

"I didn't forget about you guys, don't worry," Charlotte smiled, "I got you two… drum roll please!… Some stuff from a muggle joke shop so you can get more ideas!"

"Thanks Charlotte," The twins smiled mischievously.

"But that's not all, look who's here!" She pointed towards the door, "It's Trish!"

Everyone looked confused when Oliver Wood entered, except for Katie, Angelina, Alicia, and the twins, they smiled knowingly.

"Great to see you Trish!" Charlotte exclaimed.

Harry snickered at the nickname, and Oliver glared at him, but Harry halted suddenly at the appearance of Charlotte's face in his.

She leaned down and said, "Okay Potter - Yes I know your name- **I** only can call Trish, Trish, Because Trish didn't like the name Ollie, so he's Trish. Ya don't want a name like that do ya Pot?" Harry shook his head, "Good," She smiled and stood up smiling, reminding Oliver and the team of how 'Trish' came to be.

_FLASHBACK!_

_"Hey Ollie," Charlotte came up to Oliver on the grounds, smiling._

_Oliver glared at her._

_"Is Ollie gonna hafta smack a bitch?" Charlotte asked, and the sound of the back of a hand colliding with the side of a head could be heard. "Hey! I didn't mean me!"_

_Oliver still glared at her._

_"Well Ollie, since I can't call you that, how about Ozwald?"_

_"No."_

_"Otto?"_

_"No."_

_"Oakes?"_

_"No."_

_"Octavio?"_

_"No."_

_"Odakota?"_

_"No."_

_"Odysseus?"_

_"No."  
"Okapi?"_

_"No."_

_"Olaf?"_

_"No."_

_"Ole?"_

_"No."_

_"Oleg?"_

_"No."_

_"Omar?"_

_"No."_

_"Ozzie?"_

_"No."_

_"Edmund?"_

_"No."  
"Peter?"  
"No."_

_"Charles? We could be matching!"_

_"No."_

_(it continued like this for a long while, until finally,)_

_"I KNOW!" Charlotte exclaimed, "Okay, Trish."_

_"What?" Oliver asked, looking for the other person she was talking to._

_"From now on you're Trish, Oliver, and there's nothing you can do about it!" She said smiling and running away from a VERY angry Oliver._

_END FLASHBACK!_

"So," Harry asked, "You went to Hogwarts, how come we never saw you here Charlotte?"

"Oh, it's Bumbery, I prefer that," Bumbery smiled, "And the reason you never saw me is because I left before third year, I moved to america, to go to Manhattan School of Magic, or MSM."

"Oh."

"Yeah, so I just graduated and decided to visit my FAVORTIE quiditch team!" Harry looked confused, but Hermione got it.

"So you're three years older than us, two years older than Katie, one year older than the twins, and one year younger than Oliver," Hermione said.

"Yep, and I taught the twins all the quiditch they know!"

"Really?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, I was a beater, and I trained them so that if I left they could become beaters!"

"Yes," The twins agreed, then bowed down saying, "We weren't worthy! We weren't worthy!" Over and over, until Bumbery picked them up by the shirt collars and said,

"You still aren't." And the whole room cracked up.

_Same old Bumbs, _Oliver thought as he smiled, _It was a pity she dyed her hair, it was such a pretty shade of auburn, and she was so pretty… NO! She's like a sister, a good friend, no thinking about her in that way-_ But his thoughts were interrupted by Bumbery saying, "Oy, Trish, we're going to the kitchens, want to come?"

"Uh, no I'm okay."

"Alright, I'll see you later," And she exited with Katie and Fred.

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_ A/N: So tell me what you think. please review!_


	2. Of Lachness and Nicknames

Disclaimer: Yada Yada same thing from the previous chapter... yada yada... Oh, but for this chapter-- I DON'T own Peter Parker or Sipderman.

_A/N: So, many thanks to my reviewers! YAY! woot! mucho apreciated. So, on with the story!_

_Last line of the last chapter:_

"_Alright, I'll see you later," And she exited with Katie and Fred._

_---------------------_

"So," Oliver said, then noticing so many people there said, "Common, no more show, nothing to see here, GO!"

Once everyone had gone except the Weasleys, Harry, Hermione, Lee, Angelina, and Alicia, Oliver sat down and sighed.

"Ah, same old Bumbs," George said, " But she's really hot," He said simply.

Everyone looked shocked, then George realized he said it out loud, and looked mortified, and everyone started laughing at the fact that Alicia wacked him. After they stopped laughing there was a silence, broken by Hermione.

"So, she went to MSM, but I didn't know it started at age 13," Hermione said.

"Yeah, I thought all magic schools started at age 11," Ron said, confused.

"Well," Oliver answered, "She told me it's like a magic secondary school, one you go to after already learning the basics."

"Oh, that makes sense," They all nodded, and sat there for about five more minuets, until they heard Katie's distinctive giggle, and the unique laugh of Charlotte.

Oliver felt a twang of jealousy about Charlotte being with Fred, and so did George, but neither of them knew that someone else felt that same twang. Of course, George was with Alicia, so he shouldn't be feeling these things, but there was something about Bumbery that made him do strange things.

Soon the three entered, and the group in the common room discovered why the girls were laughing, it was Fred, he was covered from head to toe in green jello.

Ginny cracked a smile and said, "Oy, Lachness, did you bring the food?"

"No Gin, he is the food, MUAHAHAHAHA!" Bumbery exclaimed, but when they looked at her strangely, she said, "Just kidding," and rolled her eyes.

"That isn't what you said when you covered me in-" Fred started but was interrupted by Bumbery's elbow hitting him in the side.

Katie laughed, "You guys are way too weird."

"Okay, let's feed these rascals, Trish get the plates, Harry the cups, Hermione the forks, Ginny the spoons, Ron the knives and napkins. Fred, put down the food on the table, and Angelina get him cleaned up, okay? Katie and I will get the drinks," All did as they were told, the only one complaining was Angelina, who grumbled about having to clean up Fred, but Fred was very glad.

Soon, they were all digging into the food gladly, when Hermione asked, "Do the twins, Alicia, Angelina, Katie, and Lee have nicknames too?"

Through a mouthful of food Bumbery answered simply, "Yes."

"Well…?" Hermione, Harry, Ron and Ginny asked.

"Well what?"

"What are they?" They asked exasperatedly.

"Okay, let's start with Katie, she's either Kates or Cuzzie," The group nodded at this, "Angelina is Angie, Alicia is Alice," They looked slightly confused at that, "It's quite a long story really, not one for now. As I was saying, Lee is L-man or Dude, George is Dee and Fred is Dum," To this comment there was some laughter, which Bumbery interrupted, "Now there is a reason for that, you see they're like Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum, so I call them that."

Ron still snickered and Fred glared at him to which Ron said, "But it's funny!" Which received a whack upside the head from Fred.

"But why do you give people nicknames?" Harry asked.

"Well Pot, my friend, it's because I can never remember people's real names, and silly names are easy to remember like Elwyn and stuff. So now you get is Pot?"

"Yeah," Harry responded.

"Oops, Harry, looks like you're stuck with Pot, now that you responded to her calling you it," Oliver said knowingly.

"Yep," nodded Fred.

"So Gin, how's life?" Bumbery asked.

"Good, how's yours?"  
"FANTASTIC!" Bumbery turned to Hermione, "Hermione, may I call you Genevieve?"

"Uh… sure, but why?"

"Cause my friend loved that name."

"Uh, okay."

When Hermione couldn't hear, Bumbery whispered to Oliver, "She had a pet worm named that, so since she's a book worm it seemed fitting."

Oliver laughed.

"Now on to Ron," she said, "Hmm… what to call you-- AH! Peter."

"Uh, Okay but why?"

"You want the truth Ron?"

"Yes."  
"Okay, it's because that's the name of Spiderman, Peter, Peter Parker," Bumbery smiled at the reaction on Ron's face at the mention of spiders.

"So that's everyone, you are all officially nicknamed by me, enjoy."

"But what about Ginny?" Harry asked.

"Well Pot, she's Gin of course." To that they all, except Katie, Ginny and Bumbery, proceeded to hit there heads against many hard surfaces.

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_A/N: hey ya'll, hope you enjoyed this chapter! please review, i'll be away , so you're gonna have to wait till the tenth for another update! if nobody reviews, no more story, please tell me what you think, okay! _


	3. The Story of Alice

_A/N: I Know I said i wouldn't update until the 10th but Nike convinced me to update, yeah. _

Disclaimer: Same as the last chapter, except i do not own: A.) Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, B.) the names Twiddle Dee, Twiddle Dum, and Alice, C.) The Crocodile Poem, (those belong to Lewis Carroll) and D.) Sporks.

_A/N: Thanks to the reviewers! YAY! mucho love. (--Gives chocolate to estrid2006, and Nefertarie, her first actual reviewers--) (--smiles at Nike Goddess of Victory who actually read this story after many annoyed comments from me, hehe --) (--So, most of this chapter will be flashbacks, in the flashbacks they will be from the point of view of the flashback teller, so enjoy this chapter ya'll!_

Oh, I almost forgot:

_The Last line from the last Chapter:_

"_Well Pot, she's Gin of course." To that they all, except Katie, Ginny and Bumbery proceeded to hit there heads against many hard surfaces._

---------------------------------

"Well," Katie said after they finished eating, "What should we do know?"

"I could tell the story of how Alice became Alice…" Bumbery suggested.

"Okay, I guess that'd be something to do," Katie sighed, she already knew this story, but still it was something to do.

_"So, it was a cold winter's day, I was sitting in one of the arm chairs in my cozy pajamas, you know, the ones with 'fear the spork' on them, yeah those. So anyways, I was sipping a cup of hot coca staring at the fire, daydreaming, when I hear, _

_'You are insufferable Fred Weasley!' And I turn to see Alicia and Angelina coming down the stairs, followed by Fred and George._

_'What did I do? It was George!'_

_'No it wasn't me!'_

_'Well, whoever did it is a prat.' Angelina snarled._

_'Guys,' Alicia said, 'do I have to quote Lewis Carroll at you?' When they continued arguing, she sighed and said,_

_'How doth the little crocodile_

_Improve his shining tail,_

_And pour the waters of the Nile_

_On every golden scale!_

_How cheerfully he seems to grin,_

_How neatly spread his claws,_

_And welcome little fishes in_

_With gently smiling jaws!'_

_'What's that from?' George asked._

_'Well, Twiddle Dee, it's from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, right Alice?' I said, and suddenly the four looked at me as if they just noticed I was there._

_'Which one of us is Alice?' Angelina asked curiously._

_'Well, Angie, that would be 'Alicia' as you call her, but she's Alice to me.' I smiled at the looks on their faces, combined shock, annoyance and appreciation. _

_'If George's Twiddle Dee, what does that make me?' Fred asked._

_'Well of course, you're Twiddle Dum,' I said to the large amounts of laughter coming from Alicia and Angelina and smiled._

_THE END!"_

Angelina shook her head and rolled her eyes, "She's exaggerating!"

"Oh, am I really?" Bumbery arched an eyebrow, "Then you tell the story!"

"Fine, I will."

_"I had just finished my charms homework when, that insufferable Fred Weasley, came in with his twin and decided to turn my hair bright pink. So I got very angry, and yelled, 'Fred Weasley, you suck! How dare you turn my hair pink!'_

_And he responded cheekily, 'It's because I think your face looks lovely when you're angry.'_

_Alicia rolled her eyes and I got frustrated and left the room yelling over my shoulder, 'You are INSUFFERABLE Fred Weasley!'_

_Then of course the arragant twins HAD to follow me and Alicia as we walked down the stairs._

_'What did I do?' Fred asked, 'It was George!'_

_'No use pinning it on me mate, ' George said, 'She saw you do it.'_

_'Yeah, I did see you do it Fred,' I spat, 'You are a real prat.' I continued to glare at Fred._

_'Guys,' Alicia said, 'Do I have to quote Lewis Carroll at you?_

_To which I answered, 'Yes,' at the same time as Fred saying, 'No.'_

_'YES!'_

_'NO!'_

_'YES!'_

_'NO!'_

_And then she said the poem, just like I knew she would, _

_'How doth the little crocodile_

_Improve his shining tail,_

_And pour the waters of the Nile_

_On every golden scale!_

_How cheerfully he seems to grin,_

_How neatly spread his claws,_

_And welcome little fishes in_

_With gently smiling jaws!'_

_'Ah, Lewis Carroll,' said George, 'Very soothing.'_

_'You are quite right, Twiddle Dee,' said Bumbery._

_'Yes, I always loved the character Alice,' Alicia said dreamily._

_'Then you shall be 'Alice' to me!' Bumbery blubbered, 'Such a sweet name….'_

_'Well that only leaves me without a nickname,' Fred said flatly, and I knew what was coming._

_'You are, to match your brother, Twiddle Dum.'_

_To which Alicia and I snickered before receiving a glare from Fred._

_The End.'_

"Ah," said Katie, "That sounds more realistic."

"Humph," Bumbery crossed her arms and turned up her nose, "You all just don't know what a good story is." Then of course, she got pummeled with pillows, but that's beside the point.

"Well," She said, after straitening her shirt and smoothing down her hair, "I'd best be off to bed!" She stood up and walked up the stairs to Alicia and Angelina's dorm, the one least likely to be disturbed.

"Yeah, night," they all muttered to each other, drifting off to their own dorms, except Oliver who, like Bumbery, joined the seventh years in their dorm for the night.

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_A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review and tell me what you think._


	4. Boredom Strikes Time for a Prank

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING ! --sob--

Claimer: I own Bumbery's randomness! YAY! ( wait i just got the news, the randomness has already been coined, DRAT!)

_A/N: Hello ya'll! thanks for the reviews! --does a happy dance-- (People like my stories- peole like my stories...!) (Note: next time you review you get a cyber-imaginative-cookie-thing! YAY!) oh, and thanks to Nike, see i took your sugesstion! Thanks also to grace for reviewing after I begged her, you are a good friend! Thank you VERY much to estrid2006, for being a constant reviewer, you recieve a prise, my graditude, but can you return it by next sunday? (just kidding, i have a spare!) And thanks to Anna Tramell for reviewing both my stories! (yay you!) Now enjoy chapter numero cuatro! ( for those of you who do not undersand spanish, that's chapter number four!) YAY! ENJOY!_

_The Last Line of the Last Chapter:_

_"Yeah, night," they all muttered to each other, drifting off to their own dorms, except Oliver who, like Bumbery, joined the seventh years in their dorm for the night.  
---------------------  
_

The next morning, everyone was eating breakfast in the Great Hall, except that all of the Gryffindors noticed the absence of Katie, Oliver and Bumbery. But their absence was short lived. Since when they started mumbling about it, in they entered, Katie first, smiling, then Oliver, looking uncomfortable, and lastly, Bumbery, her hair a vivid shade of purple.

As soon as they sat down, Dumbledore stood up, and smiled, "Good morning, now that we all are present, I have a few announcements to make," the students started to talk again but were hushed by the glares from their heads of house.

"As I was saying, I have an announcement, we have two very distinguished guests today," Fred and George snickered, since they knew that he was referring to Oliver and Bumbery, who are definitely NOT distinguished, "Both happen to be former students of Hogwarts, but one attended the American school, Manhattan School of Magic as well. So please welcome back into your hearts, Mr. Oliver Wood and Ms. Charlotte Bumbery!" There was polite applause for both, some 'woops' from the quiditch players for Oliver, and some catcalls directed at Bumbery.

"Well, now go on with your day!" Dumbledore sat down and bit into his toast.

Oliver and Bumbery sat down, and started to eat. Bumbery taking a heap of bacon, eggs and toast. Oliver gawked at her.

"What?" Bumbery asked through a mouthful of eggs, "I'm hungry!"

"Just don't forget to leave some for the rest of us," he said nonchalantly, but then receiving an elbow in the side.

"That was mean Trish!"

"Sorry."

"I was kidding Trish, it's fine," Bumbery smiled, then got an evil glint in her eyes, and Oliver looked scared. He should have of course, since that was the look she got when she did things like cover people in green jello or starting to call people Trish. Yes, I mean THAT look. The look that launched a thousand pranks, yes THAT look.

"Bumbery, what are you thinking?" Oliver asked, nervous.

"Nothing," She said, then scampered off, with toast in her mouth, dragging along her cousin, who looked angry at being dragged away by the arm in the middle of kissing Lee.

The twins looked interested, so they followed the two cousins with similar glints in their eyes, but George came back to drag off Harry, who looked very disgruntled and slightly scared.

---------------------

Bumbery and the twins sat down Harry in a chair and pointed a flash-light in his eyes, "Pot, who's that kid who always bothers you?"

"Uh, do you mean Draco Malfoy?"

"Yes, and if my sources are correct, he was turned into a bouncing ferret last year?"

"Uh, yeah…."

"Okay! Thank you!" The twins stood Harry up and started to take him away but, he made them pause.

"I have one question."

"Okay, you may ask it."

"Why were you shining a flashlight in my eyes?"

"Well, it's because I saw it in some muggle movies and it looked cool."

"Oh, okay then," and Harry was whisked away.

------------------------

No one had seen the twins or Bumbery for the rest of the day, and Oliver knew a prank was coming.

The next day the Gryffindors found a news paper on the table called, The Hogwarts Quill, the front page article was titled: "An Amazing Prank", so they all elected Oliver to read it aloud, so everyone in the common room could hear.

_"The dazzling Charlotte Bumbery has always been famous for her unique pranks, but yesterday she set into motion, one that will be put down in history._

_We all have heard of Draco Malfoy, but I think after this prank, his name won't be so feared. Ms. Bumbery decided to transfigure and charm his robes to be either dresses, robes with a ferret bouncing on them, or robes with a ferret doing a strip tease to the song 'I'm Too Sexy'." _Oliver paused at this, looking a little disturbed at the imagery, but he continued, _" Also it turns out his shoes are now either, stilettos, pumps, ballet slippers, or girly combat boots, but she did all of this very cleverly so that everyone but Malfoy and the teachers can see it._

_When asked about the prank she said only one thing, "If I'd have known he had a better figure than me, I would have shot him instead."_

_So thanks to Charlotte Bumbery and the Weasley twins, we'll all have a good long laugh…." _Oliver finished, then said, "It's written by Luna Lovegood and the pictures are by the Creevy brothers."

People snatched the newspaper from him and looked at the pictures, there was a lot of laughter, and people rushed to the great hall so they could see this in person.

When Oliver reached the Great Hall, he saw a blonde girl whom many people seemed to be laughing at, then he realized it was Malfoy and cracked up. He walked over to the Gryffindor table, to see Bumbery, today with blonde hair with red and gold stripes, receiving hi-fives from many students. _Damn… she's hot, _Oliver thought, _But she probably wants nothing to do with me, probably already has a boyfriend, I have no chance with her._

"Oy Trish, take a seat," Bumbery smiled and pulled out the chair next to her.

"Thanks," he sat down, "That was a nice prank you pulled."

"Yeah, I was bored and you know me, I need to do **something!** So I asked Harry about Malfoy and…." _Her eyes are really pretty, an emerald green color…. _

But his thoughts were interrupted by Bumbery getting up to leave, saying, "I'm off to see Hagrid, wanna come?"

"Sure, why not," Oliver stood up, and they left, along with the twins, to head down to Hagrid's Hut.

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_A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter, for once with a story, I know where I want it to go. So, please review and tell me what you think. (tell me if you want the prequels mentioned in my profile in your reviews, because i have ideas!) (it's kind of shocking that almost more poeple have read my other story than this... O.o) (I'll be packing tomorrow for my vacation, so this will be my last update until the tenth) Again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, because Bumbery is such a fun character to write! (--smiles--)  
_


	5. Bruce, Pampering and Truth or Dare

_A/N: hi, I'm back after my vacation! woot, was muy fun! (ha) I was in Cape May (WoOt- the Taco Bar!), and I got inspired for more stuff in this story which is good, because I was running out of ideas... heh. So, I thank my reviewers, and to all who reviewed my other story! yay! To all of you here are a bunch of cyber-cookie-things! YAY! Um, there is some shameless plugging in this chapter, forgive me, I could not resist plugging my other story. --smiles-- (oh and please forgive me if Hagrid does not speak with his accent, I'm sorry I have a problem writing like that, so just imagine it, thanks.) Oh and I'm sorry I had to get this whole thing rollign and I'm using truth or dare, sorry if you hate the game, but enjoy the chapter. --smiles--_

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Harry Potter- those belong to JKR, and I also do not own the songs mentioned in this chapter. --smiles--_

_Claimer: HA! I own the cat mentioned in this chapter, and I owned the other one but she died, my pen name is dedicated to her. (I know technically the cats belong to my parents but still, Andy's my BABY! Erm... now on with the story!) ENJOY!_

_Last Line from the Last Chapter:_

"_Sure, why not," Oliver stood up, and they left, along with the twins, to head down to Hagrid's Hut._

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On the way there Bumbery insisted on her tradition of walking to Higrid's Hut whilst doing the cha-cha and singing muggle songs, must be followed. So, the three boys joined the girl dancing and singing songs like, 'I'm a Little Tea Cup', 'C'est La Vie', 'Graduation', and 'Mambo Number 5'. During which Oliver was transfixed on the swaying of Bumbery's hips, of course he also felt like an idiot for dancing himself, but that's besides the point.

When they reached Hagrid's Hut, she did her ceremonial knock, consisting of two sharp raps, then three slow ones. Hagrid opened the door and received a hug from Bumbery who yelled, "BRUCE!"

Hagrid smiled, then asked, "What are you doin ere? I didn't know you were comin back!"

"Well, I just **had** to visit my **favorite** keeper of keys and game keeper."

"Ah, well, would you like a cuppa of tea?"

"That'd be great Bruce old buddy!" Bumbery took a seat and Oliver sat on her left, Fred on her right and George next to Fred. After sipping hot tea for a few moments, Bumbery said cooly, "I see you still have Fang," nodding to the giant boarhound, who was sitting with his head in George's lap.

"Yea, and I assume you still have those two damn-"

"AHEM!"

"Sorry, those two cats, what were their names…?"

"Their names are Asterisk and Ampersand," she said through gritted teeth, and pursed her lips afterwards. You see choice in pets was the only thing that Hagrid and Bumbery disagreed on, of course it was mostly a friendly disagreement, friendly on Hagrid standards, but otherwise the two go along.

"How are the little buggers?"

"They're doing pretty good, Andy is much more sociable than Risky, and he likes to go outside, they're almost opposites."

"Ah."

"How's Buckbeak?" After she said that, he looked happy about the change of subject.

"Well,_ Buckbeak_ escaped after almost being executed, but if you wanna ask about _Witherwings_ that's a different story."

"Ah," Bumbery said, catching on, "How is Witherwings?"

As soon as she asked, Hagrid launched into a long explination about all of his pets, during which Oliver looked bored and hungry, as many hours had passed since breakfast.

"Um, Bruce, I think we have to go, you know so we can eat lunch."

"Yeah Hagrid, we got to go," the twins said simultaneously, Oliver just nodded.

Hagrid said, "Oh, alright, I'll see ya'll around."

The four students stood up, they headed to the door, but Bumbery stopped, "OH! I almost forgot, I got this for you," she said taking out a leather-bound book and handing it to him, "It has pictures from our field trip to the Bronx Zoo, all of the muggle animals and stuff."

Hagrid smiled, "Thanks a lot dearie."

"See you around Bruce!" She called, waving as she left the hut.

"Bye Hagrid," The twins said following Bumbery's example, and Oliver waved at the half-giant and followed this three friends back up to the castle.

------------------------

When the three entered the hall, it was full with students eating their lunch. Hermione was busy reading some sort of book-like pamphlet, something like, 'What You Really Didn't Need to Know,' or something like that. The four sat down and ate lunch discussing some random things, school was one of the subjects along with pranks.

When the Gryffindors had finished eating, they all headed up to the common room.

"Us girls are going to have a pampering kind of afternoon," Bumbery said while starting up the stairs to the girl's dorm, "You you guys at dinner, okay?"

The guys mumbled some 'yeah's and 'see you later's while the six girls headed to the seventh year dorm room.

- - -

"So," Katie said while polishing her toenails, "How's it going with you and George, Alicia?"

"Pretty good," she mumbled through the bathroom door.

"Ah, young love," Bumbery said wistfully, but was hit over the head with a pillow, courtesy of Angelina, after she recovered, she asked, "Do you have a thing for Fred?"

"NO," she said all to quickly, "The day I have a thing for Fred Weasley, is the day I become a Goth," and since Angelina had no hopes of becoming a Goth, they all took that as a sign, of what I do not no, but still a sign.

"So Ginny, did ever think about highlighting your hair?" Bumbery asked while braiding it.

"Erm, no, not really, besides Mum would kill me if I changed my hair, she's all about 'showing and respecting your heritage', it's quite annoying really, I mean sure, I'm part Irish, but people can know that about me without my having bright red hair," the other girls nodded their heads sympathetically.

"Yeah, I know how it feels, my Mum is all about my African heritage, I respect it and all, but I'm also English for goodness sakes," Angelina said, shaking her head.

"Well, Ginny, we can highlight your hair and make it a more subtle orange color," Bumbery offered.

"Sure, I don't think Mum can be offended if I just make it so it doesn't clash horribly with everything."

"Sure, let's get started," So while Bumbery was highlighting Ginny's hair, Hermione and Katie were having a whispered conversation.

"I'm just not sure I can tell him how I feel," Hermione said, frustrated.

"Trust me," Katie patted her on the back, "It's better if you do, because when a guy hears a pretty girl likes him, he just starts to like her too," to that Hermione smiled, but it faltered.

"But how do I tell him?"

- - -

After a long afternoon of pampering and relaxing, and a delicious dinner, the ten Gryffindors and two former Gryffindors sat down in the common room.

"I'm bored, let's do something," Bumbery whined, her hair now electric blue, "Like blow up a toilet or something I don't care."

"Sorry, but the toilet thing has been done already," Fred said laughing.

"Alright, but what else is there to do on a Saturday evening with twelve people?"

"Truth or Dare," Harry suggested.

"AH! You're brilliant Pot!" Bumbery squealed, "So let's all get in a circle," the other's obliged to her request and sat in a circle, "And let's start with…Trish, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Oliver sighed.

"Do you still have the stack of fashion magazines hidden under your bed?"

"Uh, yeah," Oliver's face reddened slightly, but not that much, what he liked to look at the pictures!

Fred and George snickered, and Oliver sighed.

"Okay then, truth or dare Fred?" Oliver asked.

"Dare, Oliver."

"OH!" Bumbery squealed and beckoned Oliver over, "I have a _really _good dare," Then she whispered it in this ear.

Oliver nodded, "I dare you to proclaim your undying love for the next person who enters this room," He said.

The next person was, of course, McGonagall.

"Professor McGonagall," He started, "I can not keep it a secret any longer- I LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS WILL!" The rest of the group was trying to contain their laughter, but they stopped when McGonagall spoke.

"That's enough Mr. Weasley," the professor said while picking the student up from the ground where he had collapsed, "I see you have been playing truth or dare with Ms. Bumbery again," she knew this of course because it was Bumbery's trademark to ask the first person to do a dare, to profess their undying love for the next person who entered the room.

As the Professor left Bumbery said, "See you around Professor," then burst into fits of giggles.

After all of them had recovered from the McGonagall incident, Fred looked to Hermione, "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Who do you have a crush on?"

"Erm…" Hermione reddened, "Uh…herm_ron_remerah…" she mumbled.

Ron and Hermione's faces turned extreme red colors.

"Truth or Dare Ginny?" Hermione said quickly, trying to cover her embarrassment.

"Truth, I guess."

"What was your most embarrassing moment?"

"Ugh," Ginny sighed, "Well, once I had this crush of a guy, one of my brother's friends, and he heard me professing my love to him in my mirror."

They all laughed a little, but George laughed the most, which ticked Ginny off.

"George," she said with a smirk, "Truth or dare?"

"I'm a man, so I'll take the dare."

"I dare you, to kiss _Bumbery_ for uh… ten seconds."

George gulped, "Erm, alright then," He leaned in to kiss her, and when it was over, he was glad to realize, he had absolutely no feelings for her, in that way. So he made his way back to his spot and kissed Alicia on the cheek, and gave her a hug, telling her all she needed to know.

"Alrighty then, ickle-ronnie-kins truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to sing, 'I Feel Pretty' from West side story, as loudly as you can at the Gryffindor table at breakfast tomorrow."

"Okay, but how does it go?"

"It's the one that goes," Bumbery explained, "_I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright, and I pity any girl who isn't me tonight, _etcetera," while she sang she did hand motions just to piss off Ron, (what she was bored!)

"Oh," Ron said, looking disappointed on having to sing a girl's song, "Truth or Dare Angelina?"

"Dare," Angelina smirked.

"I dare you to be gothic for a day, starting now."

_Ironic, _Bumbery thought, _considering what she said earlier today._

"Alright," She changed into all black clothing, made her skin pale and her nails and make up black, then said, "All souls will rot in Hell in the end."

"Okay then," Ron said nervously.

"Truth or Dare Lee?" Angelina spat.

"Truth."

"Were you a _virgin_ before Katie?"

"Uh, no," Lee said sheepishly.

"Who was it?"

"Does that count as part of the truth?" The others nodded, "Fuck," Lee mumbled, then said, "It was, um, that Ravenclaw girl Marietta."

The others looked a little shocked, but they let it pass.

"So, Alicia, Truth or dare?"

"When were you first able to tell Fred and George apart?"

"Erm, when I said something to the wrong one by mistake."

"What did you say?"

"It was a congratulations for a good grade in potions, meant for George, but I said it to Fred by mistake, who got a really bad grade and got really pissed at me. Then I saw George who wasn't mad at me and I noticed a scar on his left ear, so that's how you can tell just by a glance."

"Okay then," Lee said, a little disappointed that it wasn't more embarrassing.

"Kates, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to use no beauty products for a week, besides the most plain of soaps and shampoos."

Katie gasped, "Oh no! Really?" Alicia nodded, "Alright." Alicia smiled wickedly.

"Harry, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Have you ever had a gay fantasy?"

"No," Harry said truthfully.

"Alright then, the first no of the evening, ladies and gents," Katie said cheekily.

"Okay, since Bumbery is the only one left, truth or dare?"

"Dare," She said with a wicked smile.

"Alright, I dare you to… kiss Oliver for at least ten seconds."

"Okay," she turned to him and kissed him on the lips, his arms around her waist, her arms around his neck.

_Is it just me or is there more feeling in this kiss then the one she and George shared? _Oliver wondered.

The tow broke apart when Fred said, "Times up mate."

Bumbery stood up and said, "Well, it's been fun but I'm tired," and went up to bed.

Katie yawned and followed her cousin up the stairs, and the other girls left in similar fashion.

Finally it was just the guys, Oliver, Lee, Harry, Ron, and the twins. Lee stood up and said, "Night all!" and left.

Harry and Ron mumbled something about quidditch tomorrow, and all who were left was, Fred George and Oliver.

"So Oliver, how's life been treating you?" Fred asked, leaning back in his chair.

"Eh, it's been fine, doing nothing special though."

"Really, quite interesting mate. Have you been keeping in touch with Bumbery since you graduated?" George asked.

"Um, not really, an occasional card on the holidays, but that's about it."

"Really?" Fred arched an eyebrow.

"Why are you asking anyway?" Oliver snapped.

"No reason, except you two seemed _pretty_ cozy," George nodded. Then the twins stood up and left, leaving Oliver alone with his thoughts.

_------------------------------_

_A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter, reviews are apprecited, tell me what you thought. _


	6. The Romance Begins

_A/N: AWW! I feel so loved. thankies for the reviews everyone! I'm trying my best to keep updating the story regularly. _

_Nike: No, Bumbery isn't a metamorphagus, like Tonks, she just magically dies her hair, as seen in this chapter. _

_As I was writing this chapter I was drinking my favorite drink, Fuze Fruit Punch, when suddenly there wasn't anymore- I was crushed, looked into the bottle and asked, "But WHY is the Fuze gone?". Sorry ya'll had to hear that story, but I was very depressed._

_In this chapter, it switches POV's a lot, when it is in a character's POV (ex: Bumbery's POV or Oliver's POV) it is in the 1st person present tense, otherwise it is the third person past tense. WARNING!** This story is about to become a romance, a very crappy one but still, i hope to keep the humor. (--sigh--) it's hard out here for a authoress...**_

_DISCLAIMER: I own no part of Harry Potter, I don't own romance or any other genre, or any other reconizeable thing in this chapter._

_The Last Line of the Last Chapter:_

"_No reason, except you two seemed pretty cozy," George nodded. Then the twins stood up and left, leaving Oliver alone with his thoughts._

_---------------------------_

Oliver had not moved since the twins left him, he just sat there, wondering, _Is it **that** obvious that I more than like her? I mean, she's been one of my closest friends and I don't want to ruin our friendship with this- I just wish I knew how she felt…._

_- - -_

Bumbery lay awake in her bed, replaying the kiss over and over in her head, _This kiss was so different from the others I've had, _she thought, _yeah I've been kissed before but this was so- NO! I will not- I repeat **not** think about Ollie- I mean **Trish **in that way, no I can not, it'll be too awkward…._

- - -

The next morning, Bumbery got up, after getting about a half-hour's worth of sleep. She stretched and yawned. Then moved over to the mirror, she could be heard muttering a spell, then her hair was magically a vibrant green. She then got dressed and walked down to the common room, where she saw the last person she wanted to see then, Oliver.

- - -

_(Bumbery's POV)_

_Oh FUCK! WHY do I have to see Ollie on a day when I look like SUCH CRAP? Oh fuck, shit, he's turning around to look at me- shit look like you're doing something important and can't be interrupted girl- ah-ha read the book right next to you._

I quickly pick up the closest book to me, luckily it is the one I got Alice, The Princess Bride, an easy book to get lost in. I open it to the page when Westly and Buttercup are in the fire swamp and start reading when-

"Hey Bumbs," Oliver says, _oh god his voice is so sexy, even if he looks like he hasn't slept a wink._

"What's up Trish?" I say nonchalantly, _Good he doesn't know what you were just thinking, that's good keep it casual-_

"Nothing much, where are you headed?" _OH FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK! Shit think of somewhere to go where he won't want to follow you, the bathroom- no he'll just wait outside of it for me, oh wait I got it- _

"I'm headed to Dumbledore's office, official stuff like that, you know…"

"Oh, okay then, see you later," _Smooth Charlotte, now you **actually **have to go to Dumbledore's office, and talk to him for no apparent reason, oh god I hope he won't be ticked off…._

_- - -_

_(Oliver's POV)_

_Oh god, her hair looks really good green. Shit I got to stop staring at her hips- **but they're so mesmerizing-** anyway, I wonder why she really needs to go to Dumbledore's office, she did nothing wrong, that I know of. I guess I should go down to breakfast then, oh GOD I am so tired, I should have slept last night…._

- - -

_(Normal POV)_

Dumbledore sat in his office playing with his Newton's Cradle and Rubix Cube, when he heard a nock on his door. He shuffled around some papers and magazines then said, "You may enter."

He was greeted by our heroine who looked very disgruntled. The headmaster gently put down the Rubix Cube.

"Ah, sorry to interrupt," she was staring down at her shoes, "But I was wondering-"

"Why I'm letting you stay here," Dumbledore finished her sentence, and Bumbery looked shocked.

"How did you-"

"I know many things Ms. Bumbery," Dumbledore smiled, eyes twinkling.

"So, why are you letting me and Oliver stay here?"

"Ah, that is a good question, the answer is, you are both useful."

"How?"

"Well, Madam Hooch was thinking of retiring in a few years, and she wanted to have the students get used to the new teacher before she left."

"Oh, so you want Oliver to replace Madam Hooch? But what about his quidditch career?"

"Well, that is for him to decide, in the beginning it would only be part-time stuff, for example, refereeing a game or two a year."

"Oh," at this Dumbledore smiled, _she cares so much about others, it's sweet,_ he thought.

"You are probably wondering, 'what about me? Why are you letting me stay too?' am I right?" Bumbery nodded, "Well, we were thinking about offering courses about different magic schools, along with programs for students to study abroad."

"Really?"

"Yes, Ms. Bumbery, and we would be delighted if you would help us organize it."

"I would love to Professor Dumbledore."

"Call me Alby, you know you want to."

"Heh, thanks Alby," Bumbery smiled, _so this day isn't going to suck that much after all, _she thought.

_- - -_

The two unknowing love birds walked their separate paths when the other ten characters in our story met in the common room, and sat down in a circle, similar to the one they sat in last night, but today it served a different purpose.

"Alright, just to clarify, did everyone see something more than a dare to Bumbery and Oliver's kiss last night?" Fred asked.

The group nodded, then Alicia spoke, "Of course they're both probably so thick that they can't realize that they're both into each other."

Katie rolled her eyes, "My cousin may be a smart, but she's so dumb concerning her love-life."

"Yeah and Oliver didn't even realize when Katie and Alicia both had crushes on him in his fourth year," Angelina said smugly.

"Wait- You liked _OLIVER?_" George rounded on Alicia.

"Well now is not the time to discuss that- we have an important mission," Katie said, then turning her voice to a whisper, "We have to figure out a way to get Bumbery and Oliver together."

"We could just write them a note saying; 'Just snog already'," suggested Ron, shrugging.

"No, that's stupid, and anyway they already snogged," Hermione said rolling her eyes at Ron's stupidity.

"We could lock them in a room, and not let them out until they tell each other how they feel?" Harry proposed.

"I don't know, I don't think we should _force_ them into a relationship," Angelina said, receiving many arched eyebrows from the others.

"We could tell them that the other is dead. Then, once they realize how much they loved the other, we could reunite them," Katie said.

"Or, we could just leave them on a romantic date, and let it happen naturally," Hermione reasoned.

"That could work," Fred said.

"Oh my gosh! He speaks!" Angelina said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I think we should go all _'Much Ado About Nothing' _on their asses. You know, when Bumbs is in hearing distance, say stuff about how in love Oliver is with her, and vice or versa," Alicia said smirking.

_- - -_

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please tell me what you think. Oh, and if you review, tell me which way you think would be best to get Oliver and Bumbery together. Do you agree with Angelina, or are you siding with Hermione? Are you wishing for the simple way out, like Ron, or are you suggesting something clichéd like Harry? Are you agreeing just to say something, or do you want me to go all Much Ado About Nothing on their asses, or last but not least, are you saying nothing, like Lee? If you have any suggestions on how the two characters should get together, mention it in your review, I will take all ideas into consideration, so press the button and tell me what you think. _


	7. The Most Awkard Day

_A/N: thanks a BUNCH to Quill Pen and Ink for reviewing the last chapter! YAY! WoOt! Oh, and just so you know i was planning to have this be, at the most 15 chapters, i'm actually hoping for around 10 or 12, but hey, i'm giving myself some extra room just incase. so- enjoy this chapter._

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything reconizeable (from outside this story) so you can't sue me! HAHA!_

_The Last Line of the Last Chapter:_

"_I think we should go all 'Much Ado About Nothing' on their asses. You know, when Bumbs is in hearing distance, say stuff about how in love Oliver is with her, and vice or versa," Alicia said smirking._

_- - -_

Oliver and Bumbery kept avoiding each other for the rest of the day. Their confrontation in the morning had been the last that they had seen of each other.

Meanwhile the others had spent their day planning the perfect way to get the two together. There were many topics discussed, including; a romantic date, locking them in a room together, convincing them the other is dead, using the "Much Ado About Nothing" way, something with pen pals, veriterserum, mistletoe, fake love notes, and many other things. Surprisingly during the whole planning process, Lee said almost absolutely nothing.

Of course, Charlotte spent her day mostly thinking about her job opportunity, if she wanted to do that job or not, and if she could handle her job if Oliver also worked there. The strange thing was, she almost completely forgot that she should probably tell Oliver that a job had been offered to him, but of course she was too lost in her own thoughts to remember.

- - -

(_An Excerpt from Charlotte Bumbery's Diary)_

_Diary,_

_I know I haven't written in you for a long time, (Five Years is it?) But I have some very important news. WELL, remember when I had the crush on Oliver in second year? **Well** it turns out I still like him. UGH! WHY is my life so complicated? He probably doesn't even feel anything for me. UGH. I hate, **absolutely HATE** unrequited love. AND, just to top off this cake of disaster, I may have to work with him, if we both except the jobs offered to us by Dumbledore. Oh WAIT! SHIT! I forgot to tell Oliver that he was offered a job! SHIT SHIT SHI-Taki mushrooms! (sorry, a first year looked over my shoulder…)_

_Gotta go tell Ollie,_

_Charlotte ._

_- - -_

Charlotte skidded to a halt in the halway, spotting Oliver. "Oliver!" She squeaked.

"Erm, yeah?" He looked back and spotted her.

"Well," she said panting, "Professor Dumbledore _(huff)_ asked me to tell you _(puff)_ that he is offering _(deep breath)_ you a job," she finished, finally, looking up and smiling at him.

"Really? But what about my quidditch career?"

"_Well,_ the job he offered you, is part time at first, he wants you to slowly replace Madam Hooch."

"Oh. But wait, why did he tell you?"

"Well, remember when I said I had to go see him?"

"Er, yeah."

"That was to ask him why he was allowing us to stay here."

"_And?"_

"He said he was offering us jobs."

"Wait, us?"

"Yeah, I'm going to run this special 'Study Abroad' program."

"Oh."

"Well, see you later," she quickly turned around and ran back up the stairs.

- - -

_(Bumbery's POV)_

_AH! FUCK! I told him about Alby offering me a job too, now he won't take the job, AND I'll never see him again…._

_- - - _

_A/N: I know, a short chapter, but i'm giving you guys some leeway, to tell me how you want Oliver and Bumbery to get together! Oh, and if you want to see some of Bumbery's back story, check out "The Hogwarts Diary of Charlotte Bumbery". (That is the diary mentioned in this chapter.) Please tell me your thoughts on this chapter, and how the two "unkowing love birds" should get together. (TOODLES!)_


	8. The Twins' Try Love Notes

_A/N: Heh, sorry for so much swearing lately... it just kinda happened. thanks to all readers and my reviewers! I guess I'LL have to decide how to get those two stubborn, thick-headded mules together on my own. (--sigh--) but ya'll asked for this! SO, On with the story!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or When Harry Met Sally. I might get away with owing Charlotte Bumbery, but she might actually claim to owning me..._

_The Last Line of the Last Chapter:_

_AH! FUCK! I told him about Alby offering me a job too, now he won't take the job, AND I'll never see him again…._

_- - -_

So, the Gryffindors had finally decided how they would get those tick-headed people together, A COMBINATION! (A/N: that way all of us win.) And you know how they were going to do it, they were all going to do their own thing. Yep, those Gryffindors may be brave, but sometimes they are _so_ stupid.

First there's Fred and George, they decided to write some fake love notes.

"You can write Brumbery's letter to Oliver, Fred," George said pushing a piece of paper to his brother.

"No thank you, I can't write like a girl!" Fred exclaimed.

"WELL, _neither_ can I!"

"So what should we do then?"

"Rock Paper Scissors, and whoever looses has to write Bumbery's letter to Oliver. Deal?"

"Deal."

So the two played rock paper scissors, the first round was won by Fred, then George exclaimed, "BEST TWO OUT OF THREE!" So they played two more rounds and George won, to which Fred mumbled something that sounded like, 'I'm too nice if I hadn't let him play the other two rounds _he_ would have had to write Bumbery's letter, he's a no good cheater, the meanie! He's a poop!'

So, George sat down happily to write his letter to Bumbery, and this is what he wrote:

**Dear Charlotte, the most beautiful girl on the planet,**

**I'm not sure how to say this but, your eyes are sparkly, and celery green, they entrance me. I want you! I love you. I know it is unbelievable but… I love that you get cold when it's seventy one degrees out, I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts, I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's a wonderful day out. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible.**

**Love,**

**Oliver**

Of course, we all know this is from When Harry Met Sally, but George hoped that Bumbery wouldn't recognize it. Of course Fred didn't do much better, his note looked something like:

**OLIVER,**

**HEY I LOVE YOU, YOU GREAT THICK HEADDED BUMBLING IDIOT!**

**-CHARLOTTE**

The twins rushed over to Lee, to show him their fine workmanship (well, that was the word _they_ used), when Lee read them, he was too busy holding in his laughter, (whilst smiling) to tell them how stupid they were.

So, the twins being as thick-headed in the affairs of love notes, as they are, rushed off to give the letters to their respective recipients. But halfway down the hallway, they realized that they had the wrong letters, so they turned around and ran back, switching the letters, then headed off (once again) to give the letters to the recipients.

- - -

George walked into the library, hoping he's find Bumbery there. He walked up and down the aisles, no Bumbery. Finally he walked to the back of the library, where the study tables are. There he found Bumbery, writing in some book, he tapped on her shoulder.

- - -

_(Bumbery's POV)_

I snap my diary shut, and look behind me, I see George grinning at me. _Suspicious,_ I think.

"Hello Dee."

"Hi Bumbery," He says all too cheerfully.

"What do you want?"

"Oliver-asked-me-to-give-this-to-you," he says in one quick breath, then runs down the aisles and out the door before I can even say, 'But…'

I look down at the envelope in my hand, it says, "**To Charlotte**" in big block letters, and there are many badly scribbled hearts around it. I sigh, _This is definitely not from Oliver, but it'd be a waste paper if I don't read it,_ I think.

I open the letter and read:

**Dear Charlotte, the most beautiful girl on the planet, **(_Yep, Definitely not from Oliver)_

**I'm not sure how to say this but, your eyes are sparkly, and celery green, they entrance me.**(_Pfft, yeah right)_** I want you! I love you.**_(WHAT? Back track here, did he just say that he loves me. LOVES ME? This is so NOT from Oliver)_** I know it is unbelievable but… I love that you get cold when it's seventy one degrees out, **_(Um, this sounds familiar, but that is true…)_** I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, **_(No, it does not, Where did he get this from?)_** I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts, **_(Actually that's usually the other way around…)_** I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. **_(AH! This is from When Harry Met Sally, and since Oliver is a pure-blood, and his family aren't muggle obsessed, I'm guessing Fred or George wrote this, those sneaks!)_** And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's a wonderful day out.**_(Pfft. Where'd they get THAT from?)_** I came here tonight **_(He's not even here, AND it isn't even night time!)_**because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible.**

**Love,**

**Oliver**

I crumple up the paper, then throw it in the rubbish bin, shaking my head at the stupidity of the Weasley twins.

- - -

_(Normal POV)_

Fred skidded to a halt, he had searched almost the whole school, then he remembered the quidditch pitch. He raced to the changing room, looking for Oliver. He finally checked the shower room, where Oliver sat, with all his clothes on, under the stream of water.

"Trying to drown yourself again, I see," Fred said, causing Oliver to jump.

"Wadudoinere?" Oliver asked, but he really meant, 'what are you doing here?'.

"Oh, Bubery asked me to give this to you," Fred left the envelope in the soap dish, then ran off, smiling.

Oliver shook his head, and picked up the envelope.

- - -

_(Oliver's POV)_

_Hmm… this handwriting doesn't look like Charlotte's,_ I think whilst glancing at the envelope, _the letters are all in block format, and I know for a fact that she has small, skinny loopy handwriting, oh god I sound like her stalker or something….I guess I should open it anyway._

When I opened it I found this letter:

**OLIVER,**

**HEY I LOVE YOU, **_(no way! Charlotte did not write this)_**YOU GREAT THICK HEADDED BUMBLING IDIOT!**_(HEY! That's insulting!)_

**-CHARLOTTE**

After I read it, I crumple it into a ball, then play hackey sack with it for a while, then finally, I decide to set it on fire, and to throw out the remains.

- - -

_A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it turns out there will be about 16 chapters, one for each attempt at getting Oliver and Charlotte together. (and maybe an epilogue, so about 16 or 17 chapters then.) Tell me what you think! _


	9. Ron Tries with Mistletoe

_A/N: (--squee--) thanks for the reviews Nike! (hehe) (--does the running man because she's so happy--) Well, enough of that. Today's chapter is dedicated to: Quill Pen and Ink, for giving me my notebook,( at her bat mitzvah, which has now become my BIBLE for this story. I keep it at my bedside at night, for those random inspirations i get, so i can write them down and not forget. this story actually came to me in the middle of the night...but i digress.) So, she will have a cameo apperance in this chapter YAY!_

_Er, this chapter may seem a little mean to Ron, but i like him and i'm only aiming to poke harmless fun at him (--pokes ron--) so, please enjoy this chapter, thanks. _

_Oh, Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or Mistletoe, or anyhting like that. _

_The Last Line of the Last Chapter:_

_After I read it, I crumple it into a ball, then play hackey sack with it for a while, then finally, I decide to set it on fire, and to throw out the remains._

_- - -_

_(Normal POV)_

So, the twins were peering around the corner and watched the recipients' reaction to their letters, when they both crumpled them into a ball, Fred and George simultaneously muttered, '_damn'_ and proceeded to the Gryffindor common room, to report how things went.

When the twins finally came back up to the common room, they both entered with their heads bowed, then said to the other eight people gathered, waiting expectantly, "No go, we failed."

"Well," said Lee, looking at the twins, "They weren't that believable. I mean common, _Oliver_ quoting **'When Harry met Sally'.** Please! He doesn't even know what a _movie_ is!"

The twins glared at him but they knew he was right.

"So," Ron said standing up, "I guess I'll go next."

"What _are_ you going to do Ron?" Hermione asked.

"I'm going to get them underneath enchanted mistletoe, which will make them realize that they _both_ have feelings for each other."

"Ron," Hermione said, touching his arm, "That would be clever, except, it isn't even December, it's April."

"I don't care, it will work," he said, leaving in a huff.

"Well this will be fun to watch," Lee said quietly to himself, and smirked, then he followed Ron out of the common room.

- - -  
Ron snuck down the hallway, reaching the library. He had a note held in his hand, which read: Meet me by the portrait of the fat lady at three o'clock. Signed your secret admirer.  
Ron, found the table where Bumbery was sitting and asked a Ravenclaw girl to ask Bumbery to get her a book or something.  
The girl whispered to him, "I will not do something as stupid as that just so you can leave a stupid secret admirer note for her while she's not looking."  
"Why not?" Ron asked, confused as to how she knew his whole plan.  
"Because you do not even know my name and it's stupid to ask a stranger to do something like that for you. Do you even know what year I'm in?"  
"Er, no?" Ron said sheepishly.  
"I'm in your year," she said glaring at him.  
"Oh. Sorry."  
"Pfft. Like you're sorry. Forget about it Weasley."  
"Wait- aren't you that Elizabeth Nelson girl?" He asked hurriedly, noticing she was picking up her quill pen and ink.  
"Why yes, yes I am."  
"Sorry I didn't recognize you there…" Ron said, seeing as the last time he saw her, he accidentally put a charm on her to cover her with boils, and hearing of her spite kept away from her for a long time. And by long time I mean, two years, TWO YEARS! (ahem, sorry there….)  
"Fine, I'll help you, but only if you do something for me."  
"Er, alright. What do you want me to do?"  
"I want you to get Angelina and your brother Fred together, their constant bickering in the library is driving EVERYONE here crazy!"  
"Um, okay then… will you do it for me then, distracting Bumbery I mean."  
"Sure," then she stood up and walked towards Bumbery then when she reached her chair, 'tripped' and sent all her stuff flying, one of them conveniently flying off into a different aisle, very far away.  
"Are you alright?" Bumebry asked.  
"Yeah, but can you get my bag for me, it went flying into that aisle, WAY over there. "  
"Uh, sure I guess," and Bumbery walked away, towards that aisle, and Ron sneaked up to her books and slipped her note into one of them, leaving a little bit sticking out, then ran like crazy getting out of there.

- - -  
Ron snuck down the hallway, reaching the library. He had a note held in his hand, which read: Meet me by the portrait of the fat lady at three o'clock. Signed your secret admirer.  
Ron, found the table where Bumbery was sitting and asked a Ravenclaw girl to ask Bumbery to get her a book or something.  
The girl whispered to him, "I will not do something as stupid as that just so you can leave a stupid secret admirer note for her while she's not looking."  
"Why not?" Ron asked, confused as to how she knew his whole plan.  
"Because you do not even know my name and it's stupid to ask a stranger to do something like that for you. Do you even know what year I'm in?"  
"Er, no?" Ron said sheepishly.  
"I'm in your year," she said glaring at him.  
"Oh. Sorry."  
"Pfft. Like you're sorry. Forget about it Weasley."  
"Wait- aren't you that Elizabeth Nelson girl?" He asked hurriedly, noticing she was picking up her quill pen and ink.  
"Why yes, yes I am."  
"Sorry I didn't recognize you there…" Ron said, seeing as the last time he saw her, he accidentally put a charm on her to cover her with boils, and hearing of her spite kept away from her for a long time. And by long time I mean, two years, TWO YEARS! (ahem, sorry there….)  
"Fine, I'll help you, but only if you do something for me."  
"Er, alright. What do you want me to do?"  
"I want you to get Angelina and your brother Fred together, their constant bickering in the library is driving EVERYONE here crazy!"  
"Um, okay then… will you do it for me then, distracting Bumbery I mean."  
"Sure," then she stood up and walked towards Bumbery then when she reached her chair, 'tripped' and sent all her stuff flying, one of them conveniently flying off into a different aisle, very far away.  
"Are you alright?" Bumebry asked.  
"Yeah, but can you get my bag for me, it went flying into that aisle, WAY over there. "  
"Uh, sure I guess," and Bumbery walked away, towards that aisle, and Ron sneaked up to her books and slipped her note into one of them, leaving a little bit sticking out, then ran like crazy getting out of there.

- - -

Ron sneaked around the castle, trying to find Oliver, he finally found him, and said, "Oliver, professor Dumbledore asked me to tell you that you need to meet someone by the portrait of the fat lady at around three o'clock."  
"Er, okay then, thanks Ron," Oliver said, confused as to why Dumbledore had asked Ron to tell him this and why this person needed to meet him at a place where so many people came and went, how was he supposed to know who they were? He was about to ask Ron this, but he noticed the red head was gone.

- - - "He he he," Ron giggled mischievously, "I'm a genious setting this rigged mistletoe up, so that when they get underneath it, they will have to kiss and tell the other how they really feel about each other!"  
But alas, seeing as how stupid Ron can be at times, he forgot to make it so that Charlotte and Oliver were the only people who could get stuck under it, so when he saw Angelina coming out of the portrait hall, and his brother coming down the hallway towards the portrait, at three o'clock, he panicked. He started running around and screaming at Angelina and Fred to 'Go no farther!' but it was too late. In a matter of seconds Angelina and Fred were snogging in public and Ron's plan was ruined.  
"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ron wailed, sounding a lot like Darth Vader, might I add. See, he also made it so it was only good for one pair of people, he thought it was clever, until this very moment.  
Ron spotted Oliver and Charlotte coming down the hallway from opposite sides, Oliver, being the first one of the two to spot the other, went into the nearest room before Charlotte could see him.  
Charlotte passed the snogging couple, and Ron, then said cheerily to the gloomy red head, "Groovy, I was waiting for those two to get together," then continued on her merry way, hearing from behind her, Fred say, 'I love you so much that words can not even begin to describe it Angel,' and 'I love you Fred, I really do,' coming from Angelina, and smiled.

- - -

_A/N: well, i hope you liked this chapter, sorry it took so long for me to post it, i was having some problems. Please tell me what you think._


	10. Angie, Veriterserum & a Tape Recorder

_A/N: (--sigh--) I have no life... i'm updating practically every day... seriously, i have no life! but i'm going shopping for school supplies today! Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to my BFF Nike (aka Coz) for bugging me immensely to update this story, which i want to have finnished before school starts. (i'm looking at the story in word, and WOW, it's 23 pages all together, not counting author's notes... wow...) Oh, and i would like to thank my reviewers, (they're only really Nike and estrid2006, but who cares!) YOU GUYS ROCK! oh and enjoy the story, XD_

_Disclaimer: i own nothing reconizeable in this chapter! _

_The Last Line of the Last Chapter:_

_Charlotte passed the snogging couple, and Ron, then said cheerily to the gloomy red head, "Groovy, I was waiting for those two to get together," then continued on her merry way, hearing from behind her, Fred say, 'I love you so much that words can not even begin to describe it Angel,' and 'I love you Fred, I really do,' coming from Angelina, and smiled._

- - -

When Lee saw one of his best mates kissing his girlfriend's best mate, he smiled, _About time,_ he thought, _but I still need to be entertained, so who's trying to get Oliver and Bumebry together next? Oh right, I'll go back into the common room._

As Lee headed towards the portrait, Angelina and Fred broke away from each other, and blushed, both saying, 'sorry', then heading into the common room. Lee, and a mortified Ron followed the two back inside and joined the circle.

Upon noticing his brother and Angelina holding hands, George said to Ron, "Looks like you got the wrong couple who won't admit they like each other together."

Ron glared at him, then sat down next to Hermione.

"So," Lee asked, "Who's going next?"

"I will," said Angelina, then she stood up and left the room to find Oliver.

- - -

Once again Oliver was found in the astronomy tower. Angelina came running up to him, panting.

"Oliver," she said, between breaths, "If I could give you proof that Bumbery liked you as more than a friend, would you tell her how you feel?"

"I guess so."

"Great!" She said running down the stairs.

- - -

_Where is that veriterserum?_ Angelina pondered whilst looking through the sample cabinet in the potions room, _Ah-ha! Now I can get Bumbery to say she loves Oliver! But she won't go near Oliver, so I have to record it someway. Oh wait, Katie said she has a muggle 'tape recorder' what ever that is, but I might as well try it._

So, Angelina went in search of Katie's tape recorder, (which will magically work in Hogwarts for no apparent reason).

- - -

Angelina had her tape recorder, and found Bumbery, "Will you drink this, you look thirsty," she said, holding out the bottle, which contained the water and veriterserum.

"Uh, okay," and Bumbery drank some of it.

"Do you love Oliver?" Angelina asked holding out the tape recorder.

"Yes," Bumbery said, then looked shocked.

"YAY!" Angelina squealed then ran to find Oliver.

- - -

Oliver was sitting by the lake when Angelina found him.

"Hey Angelina," he said, looking at her.

"I have proof that Bumbery likes you as more than a friend," she said, then handed him the tape recorder, "Press the 'play' button."

Oliver listened, "No it doesn't," he said as he handed it back to her, "It only has her saying 'yes'."

"D'oh!"

- - -

_A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, but i wanted to end it on a funny line. I hope you liked the chapter. Tell me what you think!_


	11. Yoga, Chocolate and Quidditch Plans

_A/N: Sigh, i have a summer cold, it's annoying. WELL! Thanks for the reviews! (and Oliver and Bumbery WILL get together, i promise! It'll just take them a while.) I'm sorry it took me so long to post this chapter, i got off schedule. (i wrote a lot of this chapter on a sugar high from a chocolate milkshake, so bear with me.) I hope ya'll enjoy this chapter!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing reconizeable!_

_The Last line of the Last Chapter:_

"_D'oh!"_

- - -

Lee was rolling on the ground when he heard this conversation between Angelina and Oliver. The giant squid (who was nicknamed by Bumbery, 'Winthrop') was looking at Lee strangely, but was secretly chuckling to itself.

When Lee stood up, he waved to the squid and said, "Afternoon Winthrop."

And the squid waved one of it's tentacles as if to say, "Good Afternoon."

When Angelina saw Lee laughing, she stormed past him whispering, "It's _not_ funny!"

"Oh but it is!" Lee said, still laughing. But when he saw that she actually was leaving him, he quickly ran after her to the common room.

- -

"Okay, who's turn is it now?" Lee asked.

"I think it is mine," Harry said, standing up.

"Good luck mate," Ron said as the black haired boy left the room.

- - -

Harry walked down the hallway, pondering how to get Charlotte and Oliver in the same room, _I could tell Charlotte there's chocolate in there for her, and I could tell Oliver that there's quid ditch stuff in that same room, yeah, that could work, _Harry thought.

He finally found Charlotte, (today with black hair with an electric blue streak) she was sitting in the middle of the Entrance Hall, chanting, or doing something related to yoga. Harry walked over to her, then tapped her on the shoulder, causing her to open one of her eyes and arch an eyebrow.

"What's so important that you had to interrupt my yoga, Pot?"

"There's chocolate in the room down the hall on the left, that I was going to give you, but I have to be somewhere today and I thought you would like it," Harry said, but as soon as he told her where the chocolate was she was racing down the hall and opening the door, sqealing, "**_CHOCOLATE! YAY!_**"

"Perfect," Harry said to himself.

- - -

Next Harry set out to find Oliver, who was easy to find, he was sitting by the goalposts on the quid ditch field.

"Oy, OLIVER!" Harry yelled across the field to Oliver who looked up.

"WHAT IS IT HARRY?"

"I JUST HAD SOME QUIDDITCH PLANS TO ASK YOU ABOUT BUT I LEFT THEM IN THE CLASS ROOM, DOWN THE HALLWAY FROM THE ENTRANCE HALL ON THE LEFT."

"REALLY?"

"YEAH."

"I'LL COME." Oliver sprinted across the field and followed Harry into the castle.

- - -

"Here it is, why don't you go in first?" Harry said, gesturing to the door.

"Okay," Oliver walked into the room, and heard the door close behind him, he looked farther in and saw Bumbery, sitting down across from an empty box of chocolate.

"There wasn't any chocolate," She whimpered.

"Erm, Charlotte?" Oliver asked.

"Yes Trish, what do you want?"

"Do you have any idea why we're in here?"

"No," she said mournfully, "Do you?"

"No."

"Oh, look, the door's open," she said, pointing to the door, then exited.

Oliver decided to follow, since he had nothing better to do, and when he got outside, he saw Bumbery standing still watching a certain black haired boy and a certain red haired girl kissing.

"Oh, so that's why he forgot to close the door or do whatever," Bumbery said, then continued to walk down the hall.

Oliver rolled his eyes, _is it just me or is everyone getting together?_ he thought.

- - -

_A/N: Well, i hope you liked the chapter, sorry if it's a little short, i am working on the next chapter, so don't worry. So, tell me what you think. (--smiles--)_


	12. Something Ado About Fake Deaths

_A/N: this is the chapter you've all been waiting for-- THE DOUBBLE CHAPTER! YAY! (I decided to post this today, because Nike begged me too.) Thanks to my reviewers, i really appreciate it. (they started kissing because they LOVE eachother, and well, it's funny.) (Okay i have one comment Would you turn down Denzel Washington for Kenneth Branagh in' Much Ado About Nothing?' Sorry Emma Thompson (as Beatrice) that's just plain stupid, he's a prince in sexy leather pants- AND he's FREAKIN' DENZEL WASHINGTON! erm, sorry, i had a spazam...) NOW ENJOY!_

_Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!_

_The Last Line of the Last Chapter:_

_Oliver rolled his eyes, is it just me or is everyone getting together? he thought._

- - -

Lee walked down the hallway towards the room that Harry said he would lock Charlotte and Oliver in, seeing as he was voted by the others to see how everything was going, since Ginny went to check and hadn't come back for fifteen minuets.

Lee was startled at what he saw, Harry and Ginny kissing, instead of Charlotte and Oliver. _I thought they liked each other and all, but wow, _Lee thought, _Oh well, I better go tell the others._ With that, he thumped back up the stairs to the common room, to announce to the Gryffindors, "Didn't work," to which they all grumbled.

"Alright, I want to go next," Alicia and Katie said at the same time, then looked at each other and realized that their plans would work wonderfully together.

"We'll work together," they announced to the others, to which no one complained.

"So, I want to go with the whole Much Ado about nothing thing, and you want to have them convinced that the other is dead," Alicia said.

"Yes, so we can have them think the other is suicidal then say they killed themselves," Katie said, speaking what was on Alicia's mind.

"Perfect."

"Yes, perfect. MUAHAHAHA!"

"Yes, BUAHAHAHAHA!"

"MUAHAHAHA!"  
"BUAHAHAHAHA!"

And in the background you could here Lee trying not to laugh, and instead tried to cover it up with an evil laugh, but the laugh came out sounding like, "TEEHEEHEE!" and everyone looked at him like he was crazy. To that, Lee just shrugged.

- - -

Katie and Alicia spotted Charlotte sitting by the entrance to the room of requirement, doing yoga of some sort, wearing a t-shirt that said, "Chaos? Check. Panic? Check. Disorder? Check. My Work Here is Done." They decided to start walking and stop at the entrance of a nearby classroom to do their talk.

The walked, and stopped, then Alicia said, 'Wow, Oliver sure is depressed," she sighed overdramatically.

"Yeah, he sure is pining for Charlotte," Katie continued.

"I heard he was thinking of killing himself if Bumbery didn't say he loved him back," Alicia said solemnly, but was glad that Bumbery could not see her face.

"Wow, I sure hope that he doesn't do that, it would be terrible."

"Yeah, oh we better get going," Alicia said, then started to walk towards Bumbery.

Katie stopped when she saw her, "Oh hi Charlotte."

"Hey," Charlotte said, whilst getting down from her handstand, "Are you going to dinner?"

"Yeah, want to come?" Alicia asked.

"Sure, I'd love to come. Let's go!" She stood up, and walked down the hall thinking to herself, _Hmm, that conversation sounded very familiar in context. I think I'll figure it out over dinner._

- - -

During dinner, Oliver and Bumbery sat at opposite sides of the table, Bumbery with the twins and Ginny, Oliver with Harry, Ron, and Angelina. In the middle were Alicia, Kaite and Hermione, the latter was just sitting there reading, the other two were, for lack of better words, 'plotting evilly'.

Bumbery was talking to the twins and Ginny about pranks, and Oliver was talking with Harry, Ron and Angelina about quid ditch, both parties were talking half-heartedly, because they were bored.

Eventually, Bumbery got tired of sitting there, and finally figured out WHY that conversation from before sounded so farmilar, _They're trying to pull a Beatrice and Benedict on me! ARG! That will not work._

So, she stood up and left the hall during dessert to go do some yoga.

- - -

When Bumbery left, Katie and Alicia moved in, they sat down next to Ron, and started to talk.

"Wow, Bumbery sure is depressed," Alicia said, then sighed, once again, overdramatically.

"Yeah, she sure is pining for Oliver," Katie continued.

"I heard she was thinking of killing herself if Oliver didn't say he loved her back," Alicia said solemnly.

"Wow, I sure hope she doesn't do that, it would be terrible."

"Yeah, oh look at the time, we should go study," Alicia said, then stood up and left the table, with Katie following.

Little did they know that Oliver had not heard a word they had said, and that Charlotte had figured out their plan.

- - -

"So," Katie started, "Now it's time to initiate my part of the plan!" she squealed the last part out of excitement.

"Yes, so should we tell them that the other died, or get them separated first?"

"I think separation first would be a good idea," Katie smiled, "I take my cousin, you take Oliver, make sure they stay away form each other, got it?"

"M'am, yes M'am!" Alicia mock-saluted, and went on her way.

"All is going according to plan," Katie said, smiling wickedly.

- - -

So, Alicia and Katie spent all day, keeping Oliver and Bumbery away form each other, which wasn't that hard, considering said parties were practically doing it themselves. Finally, they both decided to tell their person 'the bad news'.

- - -

"I have some bad news Oliver," Alicia said, "Bumbery killed herself."

- - -

"I have some bad news Charlotte," Katie said, "Oliver killed himself."

- - -

"And it was because she thought you didn't love her."

- - -

"And it was because he thought you didn't love him."

- - -

"Which is wrong, right Oliver?"

- - -

"Which is wrong, right Charlotte?"

- - -

"Um," said both Charlotte and Oliver, "I think your resources are wrong, considering who's right across the lake."

- - -

"WHO?" The girls asked.

- - -

"Charlotte," Oliver said at the same time Charlotte said, "Oliver."

- - -

"RATS!"

- - -

_A/N: I know, another cheap ending, but i can't help it- it was right there, how can i resist it's charm? Please review, it makes me feel special!_


	13. Pirate Marzipan Dolphins

_A/N: Hey ya'll, what's up? Thanks for the reviews, and i'm sorry it took so long (again, i know) i just keep on getting major writers block! ARG! So, yeah. This is a really random chapter, and i hope it's longer than the others, yeah._

_Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! Not even marzipan!(except the fact that i did go dolphin watching in cape may this summer)_

_The Last Line of the Last Chapter:_

_"RATS!"_

_- - -_

Alicia and Katie returned to the common room, heads hug in defeat. "We failed," they said simultaneously.

"Well, it's getting late," Hermione said stretching, "I guess I'll go tomorrow."

There were mumbled agreements, but most people were slightly depressed that their plan wasn't working, well except for Lee, but Lee's cool like that.

- - -

All of the Gryffindors had a night to rest, and as Hermione woke up, she decided to go downstairs, and found Lee looking through a catalogue if marzipan. Hermione stared at him.

"What's so special about marzipan?" Hermione asked him.

"Nothing, it's just so dang cute!" he responded looking gleeful. Hermione just rolled her eyes, there was something really weird about Lee.

She looked up at the wall, and saw a withered piece of parchment, which read, in large loopy, (but faded) writing, 'JF&JC 4 EVA'. She shook it off though, it was nothing of importance, she needed to get the others and ask for their assistance.

You see Hermione had an idea, she was going to trick Oliver and Bumbery to go dolphin watching, how you may ask, well you'll see.

- - -

"So," Hermione finished, "Are you all with me?" she asked the group of surrounding Gryffindors.

There were various nods, and a couple 'yeahs'. Then Hermione stood up and said while leaving, "I'll take Oliver, someone want to take Charlotte?" Since there was no answer, she turned to Ron and said, "You deal with Bumbery," then left.

- - -

"Hey Oliver," Hermione said, leaning against the beech tree, looking down at Oliver who was staring at the lake, as if waiting for Winthrop to appear and juggle merpeople.

Oliver jerked awake, then looked up to see Hermione, "Hey Hermione, what are you doing here?"

"Well," Hermione paused, pondering how to phrase the comment exactly, "we're all getting a bit of a case of cabin fever, and the guys were wondering if you wanted to go dolphin watching."

"Really?" Hermione nodded her head to the confused older boy, who responded, "Alright then, when are you planning on going?"

"We were thinking about either tonight or tomorrow night," Hermione said smiling inwardly at how well her plan was going.

"Okay, tell me when you have a definite time."

"Will do," Hermione said while retreating to the castle, "You will come anyway, right?"

"Yep."

"Good."

- - -

_(Ron's POV)_

I was nervous, no denying it, I mean considering how badly my method failed, I was surprised Hermione asked me to help her, come on every one knows that even Neville would be a better choice to convince Bumbery to come _dolphin watching._ I knew absolutely nothing about the subject. I mean it's a muggle past-time, Neville could at least talk about what kinds of plants there would be there. Oh well, I had to do it, so I decided to find Bumbery and go on from there.

I found her sitting at the top of the Astronomy tower, her hair was grape colored that day, quite interesting really, but anyway, she was wearing one of her crazy t-shirt things, you know the one's with the odd sayings? Well, this one siad, 'Worst Pirate Ever' with a picture of a ghost-pirate thing thinking 'crap'. Amusing really, and it explained why she was talking the way she was, kinda.

When I came over to her she said, "Ahoy, ye land lubber, what brings ye around these parts?"

"Erm," I started, very confused, "Why are you talking like that?"

"I be a **pirate**,_ savvy_?"

"Oh," I said, kind of stunned at the fact she was talking like that, "Hermione wanted-"

"Ah, that lass is quite smart, you are a bilge rat though, get me me grog, and smartly me boy-o!" She yelled, punching her fist to the sky.

"Uh, she wanted me to invite you to go dolphin watching tonight or tomorrow evening."

"Really, are you sure matey?"

"Yes-"

"You mean 'aye' matey."

"Right, _aye _that's what the '_lass_' said, Bumb-"

"Call me either, 'The Pirate', 'The Queen of Huzzahness', or 'Captain Bumbery', _savvy_?"

"Yea- I mean 'aye'." I said, retreating back to the stairs, Bumbery calling after me, 'See you around matey!'

- - -

_(Normal POV)_

That night, Oliver joined Hermione, at the docks, she was talking to four other people, "Well, Angelina, Fred, George, Alicia and Ron backed out at the last moment, so that just leaves us, Harry, Ginny, Katie, Lee, Oliver and me," she said pointing to each person in turn, "So that's six tickets, let's get aboard."

"I don't feel too great," Katie said clutching her stomach on the way up the ramp.

"I'll stay with you on shore," Lee offered.

"But-" Katie started.

"Don't worry about it," Lee said, leading her back down the ramp, "I don't like dolphins much anyway."

"Alright."

"So that leaves, Harry, Ginny-" Hermione started.

"Wait- this is on a _boat?_ Hermione I thought you knew, I'm deathly afraid of boats!" Ginny wailed.

"Why didn't you say so before?" Hermione asked, clearly annoyed.

"I had no idea _dolphin watching_ took place in the _ocean_ on a _boat_," Ginny said glaring at Hermione, "_SOMEONE _failed to mention it."

"I'm sorry Gin."

"Why don't you go stay with Katie and Lee?" Harry asked.

"**Because** they'll be kissing and stuff and I'll feel like a third wheel," Ginny stated, with hands on her hips, "So you're," she said pulling Harry's arm, "coming with me."

"Sorry Hermione, Oliver," Harry said, waving as he was lead off down the street.

"So that leaves you and me," Hermione said, leading Oliver onto the boat.

- - - _The other side of the boat_ - - -

"So," Ron started, "Harry, Ginny, Katie, Lee, and Hermione chickened out at the last moment, so that leaves the twins, Alicia and Angelina," Bumbery nodded at this comment.

"That be true, matey."

"Uh, sure."

"Wait- we're going DOLPHIN watching?" Fred asked, "I thought you said, SHARK watching, dolphins are too tame, I'm not coming!"

"Well, since Fred isn't coming, I'm not," Angelina said crossly.

"Alright then-" Ron started but was interrupted by George.

"This is on a **_BOAT!_** No way am I going on a boat! Alicia will get sea sick and **I'll** have to take care of her!" George complained.

"HEY!" Alicia yelped, "It's not _MY_ fault I get sea sick- blame it on my mother!"

"FINE I WILL!"

"YOU'RE SO MEAN!"

"YOU-YOU'RE A SEA-SICK … um… WITCH!" At that George and Alicia huffed off in opposite directions leaving Ron and Bumbery to board the ship.

"Everything will be alright matey!" Bumbery said, patting Ron's shoulder.

- - -

"Um, Oliver, I'm gonna go… um… eat, yeah eat…" Hermione quickly said, while leaving Oliver at the front of the ship.

Oliver turned around to see Hermione was already gone, but he saw across the deck, a girl dressed in pirate garb, including a three-corner hat, accompanied by her grape-colored hair.

She was slim, and leaning over the rail, looking at the sea. _That looks an awful lot like Charlotte, _Oliver thought, but shrugged it off, _how could she be here anyway?_

- - -

_(Charlotte's POV)_

_Hm, Ron left me to go get something to eat, laving me here, boys and their stomachs, that's all they think about. _I could feel a pair of eyes bearing into my back, I looked up from my sea-watching over the railing, to see none other than Oliver Bloody Wood. Yep, just my day ain't it?

I decide to shrug it off, _I mean come on! He's here, I'm here, we can be civil, **even after that wonderful, amazing kiss… **NO! I mean- uh… it would just be awkward, I mean he's probably here with another girl, and would be embarrassed to be seen with his crazy friend who's dressed like a pirate, _**Arr matey. _But he looks so pretty standing there, the wind whipping at his hair and jacket, the greenish blue sea water contrasting with his tan skin…_**_ SNAP OUT OF IT! _**Arr, I be agreeing, that lass should be sent off to the loony bin,**_ Oh wait- Oliver's walking towards me! AH! What should I do! _**Stay calm, just let The Pirate take over, savvy?**

"AHOY Oliver matey!" I squawk like a parrot.

"Hey Bumbery, what are you doing here?" He said in his **_oh so sexy _**Scottish accent.

"Gar, I be 'ere to watch the dolphins, ain't they beauties?" _God I am talking like an idiot! WHY ME? **Well, you did let The Pirate take over, instead of dreamy, lovesick me. **That's true._

"Oh, I see you're celebrating Talk like a Pirate Day' early again this year."

"It's never too early to be talkin' like a pirate, you scurvy dog!" _WAIT JUST ONE SECOUND! I just INSULTED him! I DID NOT want to do that!_

"That be true," he said, winking at me _**oh so sexily**, is that even a word? **Now it is.**_

****"So, we talked about me, but what are YOU doing here?" I said quickly changing the subject.

"Well, it's a long story, but to put it simply, Hermione invited me," _So he is on a date, _"But it's not like it's a date or anything, originally I was going in a group, but everyone else chickened out."

"Yeah me too."

"So, you wanna look for dolphins?"

"Sure."

- - -

_(Normal POV)_

"All is going according to plan!" Hermione giggled evilly, while looking through her binoculars at the two smiling people on the deck.

"Sure 'Mione," Ron said through a mouthful of the free pizza (which came with the purchase of tickets), "I have one question though."

"What is it?" Hermione asked exasperatedly, tearing her eyes away from the binoculars.

"Where are we exactly?"

"Oh, we're off the coast of Cape May, New Jersey, which is in the United States."

"Really?"  
"Yes-sir-ree-bob."

"Wicked."

- - -

The rest of the night continued in a happy manor, Charlotte and Oliver enjoyed the playful dolphins and the delightful view. Although nothing particularly romantic happened, much to the chagrin of Hermione.

"It was a _perfectly _romantic date!" Hermione wailed the next day.

"Yeah, you and Ron got pretty cozy," Harry smirked while saying this.

"Yeah but you were 'comforting' Ginny with her 'deathly fear of boats'," Hermione smirked in response to Harry's and Ginny's faces growing _very _red.

"So," Katie started after a slight pause, "Who's next?"

_A/N: Well, i hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry it took me so long (AGAIN) but now that Nike's back from vacation, she can nag me to write more. So tell me what you think!_


	14. Crikie! Gigglers&Chocolate Chip Cookies

_A/N: Hello people! Welcome to the 2nd to last chapter! I just noticed that throughout this fic, i have not mentioned two of my favorite characters- Nevile and Luna! How forgetful of me! Well, they're gonna be in this chapter because i love Neville and Luna. (--smiles--) Oh well, enough of that, now ON with the story! (PS. SORRY FOR THE LATENESS! I got caught up in writing to my friend in china, so it's late, but my goal is for it to be finished before the fifth of September.)_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, ya know why? A) I am not as old as J.K. Rowling (not that she's SUPER old or anything, but she is older than me) B) I'm not brittish, at all, i have a US accent, sad ain't it? C) I am pale D) I have blackish brown hair, not blonde hair, sorry. Also i do not own, 'The Gigglers' They're from the book, The Giggler Treatment, which was my BIBLE in elementary school, (Remember that Nike?) that book is by Roddy Doyle, he was my GOD. Thank you Roddy Doyle, i owe you one._

_The Last Line of the Last Chapter:_

"_So," Katie started after a slight pause, "Who's next?"_

_- - -_

Ginny stood up, "That," she smirked, "would be me."

"Alright what's your plan?" Hermione asked.

"Well…" Ginny started.

- - -

Luna Lovegood was seated at the Ravenclaw table at lunch, reading a copy of the Quibbler, her radish earrings on the table because they were hurting her ears. A figure appeared beside the blonde girl, that figure had a shock of neon orange hair, long, down to her back-side. She was wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a green J. Crew tank top.

"Hey Lu," the orange haired girl said, sitting down next to Luna.

"Oh, it's only you, Charlotte," Luna put down her magazine, "What brings you to the Ravenclaw table this fine afternoon?"

"Well, those Gryffindors are too predictable, I need some more intelligent people. People who know about Winthrop's secret girlfriend," Bumbery said in a low whisper.

"Ah yes, him and Rumba are doing quite well, and so are the Gigglers," Luna said solemnly.

"That's good, about Rumba and the Gigglers," Bumbery brought her voice down even lower, "have the Gigglers pulled 'their treatment' recently?"

"Sadly, no, that treatment was very entertaining," Luna said shaking her head.

"Did you hear about the time when Filtch-"

"Yeah, that was priceless, especially when Mrs. Norris got it too!"

"Oh yeah, oh look at the time, I gotta run- you know yoga," Bumbery sprinted out of the Great Hall as Oliver sat down at the Gryffindor table. But then, she came back, to take her toast with her, Luna shook her head, _same old Charlotte,_ she thought.

- - -

"Crikie," Lee said in a bad Australian accent and a stage whisper, "I'm here with Ginny Weasley, and we're hunting the **rare **_Charlottis Bumberiousis_ and _Oliverous Woodus_."

"Would you please stop with the commentary Lee!" Ginny growled.

"Since you asked so politely, I'll just narrate in my head, thank you very much," Lee sounded offended, but Ginny knew he was joking.

_Ginny Weasley and I are currenly at the Astronomy Tower, in search of the rare Charlottis Bumberious practicing her yoga, but it looks like she is practicing somewhere else, _Lee narrated in his head, but spoke aloud, "This is taking **way** too long, and I'm hungry, let's go to the Great Hall and see if we find them there."

"Sure," Ginny sighed reluctantly, but then cracked a grin as they started walking down the stairs, "We are here to observe the **rare**_Leeus Jordanious_ on his way to feed," she narrated, in a mocking tone.

"Ha ha, very funny," Lee mock-glared and playfully punched her in the arm, "You know very well that it's _my_ job to narrate!"

- - -

After Oliver had eaten, he decided to go to the library for a change, he rarely went there, but he decided that it would be a good time to re-read Quidditch Through the Ages, no of course it had _nothing_ to do with a certain currently-orange-haired-but-naturally-auburn-haired girl, of course not.

As he sat down, he noticed the absence of many Gryffindors, and wondered, _is it because we're lazy but brave, and kinda stupid, I mean Hermione is one of the few really smart Gryffindors. The Ravenclaws are smart and clever by definition, the Huffelpuffs are hard-working and the Slytherins are ambitious, I guess we're the house more driven for acting before you think. _

**_'Wow,' _**a voice spoke in his head, **_'that's awful deep for a Gryffindor.'_**

_ Who are you? _

_**'Me? Oh don't mind me, I'm your inner sarcasm, I rarely come out since you've filled your head with quidditch and sappy love songs about that Charlotte girl.' **_

_WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? _

_**'Nothing, it's just your so bloody hopeless at expressing your emotions.' **_

**Now Sarcasm, you're being awfully hard on the boy.** Another voice joined Oliver's inner battle.

_Now who are you? _

**Oh me, I'm Sympathy. That's my name and don't wear it out, I'll feel really bad for you if you do.**

**_'Suck-up.'_**

**I feel bad for you, having to degrade others too feel good about yourself, it's sad really. But back to the topic at hand, You need to win Charlotte over.**

_Whuddyoujussay?_

_To put it simply, you need to tell Charlotte how you feel, I suggest we formulate a plan._

_Now who are you?_

_Intelligence, though I rarely come out, except when needed, like when formulating quidditch plays._

_Ah._

_**Speaking of quidditch, go back to reading Quidditch Through the Ages, it was just getting good!**_

_Ah, you must be my love of Quidditch._

_**That I am.**_

_Wicked, I think I'll take Love of Quidditch's advise._

And so he did, filling away the argument at the back of his mind.

- - -

At the same time, Charlotte was doing yoga in The Room of Requirement, where else can you get a specialty yoga set, mat, books, and instructional DVD, along with a big screen TV, not to mention the privacy.

She had her currently neon orange hair swept into a pony-tail and was practicing her yoga religiously. It was wonderful, but she wasn't completely soothed, there was something nagging at the back of her mind, but she didn't know what. Instead she decided to ask for a whole bunch of chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven. Now those were good!

- - -

Ginny searched and searched throughout the day, constantly hearing the narration of Lee, and finally she cracked. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" She yelled, pulling at her hair in frustration, "I QUIT! This is it, maybe they just aren't meant to be."

"Now Ginny, let's go back and tell the others the sad news," Lee said, steering the frustrated girl back to Gryffindor tower.

- - -

The tower was silent as the two made there way into the Common Room, it seemed as if the failure was radiating and the others sensed it already.

"It didn't work did it?" Neville asked, you see he had been told about the plan when Ron needed someone to keep people from leaving the Common Room during his scheduled time.

"Nope," Ginny sighed.

"Well, I guess it's time to let fate run it's course," Hermione said mournfully.

There was a chorus of "Yeahs" and the Gryffindors floated solemnly up to their dorms, all except for one, Lee.

"It's my turn," Lee said with a sly grin on his face, "Just what I've been waiting for, I know I shall succeed! MUAHAHAHA!"

Some younger student's looked at him strangely, but Lee just continued his laugh, knowing for sure that he would win.

- - -

_A/N: Well i hope you liked the chapter, the next one is the last, and there'll be no authors note at the bottom of that one, but don't forget to review it too! So, tell me how you liked this chapter!_


	15. The Only Chapter Without a Funny Name

_A/N: Wow, this is the last chapter! (--wipes away a tear--) Thanks for all of my readers (AND reviewers), without you guys i wouldn't have kept on going! This is my first story that isn't a one or two shot to be finished, and i hope it meets your standards._

_Please, who ever reads this last chapter, review, it would mean the world to me. _

_Sorry for the REALLY LONG authors note, but i'm not writing one at the end because it seems more finished with just a '**Fin.**' at the end. (Don't forget to tell me which prequel/sequel you want after this story or if you son't want one at all the choices for prequels are, 1. continuing 'The Hogwarts Diary of Charlotte Bumbery'. 2. 'Letters from Charlotte Bumbery'. 3. 'Elionwy's Story'. Don't forget to tell me what you think!) Oh and one more thing (i know i'm rambling, but bare with me,) This chapter may jump around in POV a lot, you have been warned. ( the POV goes from, normal, to charlotte, to oliver, to charlotte then back to normal, for refrence)_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing excpet my satisfaction in finishing this story._

_The Last Line of The Last Chapter:_

_Some younger student's looked at him strangely, but Lee just continued his laugh, knowing for sure that he would win._

- - -

The next morning, Charlotte walked towards Dumbledore's (Alby's) office. Her currently hazelnut brown hair pulled into a sleek pony-tail. Little did she know who was waiting in the office with Dumbledore.

As she reached the gargoyle, she stopped, thinking of what the password could possibly be, she tried, "Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans!", "Acid Pops!" "Lemon Drops!", "Sugar Quills!" and finally, "CHEESE CAKE!" which caused the gargoyle to leap aside, letting her climb the staircase to 'Alby's Office'.

She quickly rapped on the door with her signature knock (two sharp raps then three slow ones) and was let inside by a call of, 'enter'.

She internally gasped when she saw who was sitting in the other armchair across from 'Alby', but did not let her surprise show at the presence of Oliver. Instead she gave him a curt nod and sat down next to him.

"You may be wondering why I have called you here," Dumbledore (Alby) started once Charlotte had settled in her seat.

In response the two nodded.

"It is concerning your job offers. I was hoping for a 'yes' or 'no' at the moment, otherwise we have to find other candidates."

_I hope he doesn't ask me first,_ Bumbery thought, _because if I say yes, then Oliver might not want to except._

"Oliver, so have you considered my offer?" that received a nod, "So what is your answer?"

"Well," he paused, thinking of the consequences, "I think it would be a good idea, because I can fall back on it once I am too old for professional quidditch."

_Well that's good,_ Bumbery decided.

"Ms. Bumbery, I assume that you have considered my offer also?" she nodded, "Your answer then, please."

"I would love to, thank you for giving me this chance."

"Your welcome, you two may go," Dumbledore waved his hand and the door opened.

"Goodbye Professor," Oliver said, then haistally exited.

"See you around Alby!" Charlotte waived jovially as she left the office, knowing that she had her own dream job, well her dream job since she was fourteen, a professor at Hogwarts.

- - -

A few weeks later, Charlotte and Oliver had stopped avoiding each other. Instead, they tried to forget about the truth or dare 'incident'. That was until one breakfast when Charlotte received a message during the owl post. That message read:

**Bumbery-**

**There's something _very_ important that I have to discuss with you. (And no, it's not marzipan pirates.) It is too important to write down here in fear of someone else reading it. Please meet me in the Room of Requirement. Ask for, "A Place to Talk."**

**- Lee.**

It was only then that Charlotte noticed the dreadlock haired boy was not present at the breakfast table.

She decided to grab some toast, then go to find Lee.

- - -

I paced back and forth three times, thinking, _I need a place to talk…I need a place to talk…I need a place to talk,_ Then I opened my eyes. I saw a door handle and decided to open it.

_Wow…_ was the first thought that crossed my mind as I opened the door to reveal a large room, carpeted in red and with cozy white walls, along with a fireplace. There was a couch, an armchair and a black leather swivel chair, which was occupied. There was a plate of cookies, two glasses of water, two mugs, a tea pot of hot water, two hot coca packets and two tea bags.

I whispered, "Hello…" and the chair turned around to reveal Lee. He was wearing a grey suit, and was holding a farmiliar orange tabby.

Then he spoke, "Hello Charlotte, we've been expecting you."

"Hello Lee, um, why did you say 'we'?"

"I heard it in a muggle movie."

_Really…? _"Oh. And _why_ are you holding Sandy?" I looked at my pet cat in confusion. _Ampersand, how do you deal with Lee holding you,_ I raised my eyebrow at my cat.

"Again, a muggle movie had the villain holding a white fluffy cat, and this was as close as I could get, and before you ask, I thought it would look cool."

"Oh."

"Now, for why I called you here," He paused for dramatic effect, _COME ON LEE! I want to know why you 'called me here'!_ "Do you remember the strange happenings a few weeks ago? After the truth or dare incident?" I nodded bashfully, since I was still embarrassed, "Well, that was my fellow Gryffindors, and they were trying to get you and Oliver together," My eyes widened in surprise and curiosity, while my mouth opened in shock, _How DARE they, playing with my-erm- I mean our feelings that way! That is such a cruel joke, and I thought he cared about me-_ "**THE REASON-**" Lee yelled, obviously trying to regain my attention, "was because you and him are so oblivious to the other's feelings for you."

"WHAT!" _No, that can't be true! I mean I know I like him as more than a friend, but him even liking me the same way? No way._

"Yes, now listen to this song Bumbs," he handed me a tape player that I had to press to my ears to hear the song playing, it turned out to be my favorite sappy love song, as soon as I heard the chords I knew which song it was, I heard:

_'Don't go changing, to try and please me, You never let me down before. Don't imagine you're too familiar, And I don't see you anymore. _

_'I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble, We never could have come this far. I took the good times, I'll take the bad times, I'll take you just the way you are. _

_'Don't go trying some new fashion, Don't change the color of your hair, You always have my unspoken passion, Although I might not seem to care. _

_'I don't want clever conversation, I never want to work that hard, I just want someone that I can talk to, I want you just the way you are._

_'I need to know that you will always be, The same old someone that I knew, What will it take till you believe in me, The way that I believe in you._

_'I said I love you and that's forever, And this I promise from the heart, I could not love you any better, I love you just the way you are.'_ As the last chord rang out, I sighed, and out loud too.

"Why?" I asked.

"Just go get your man B.," He said giving me a playful shove. And I scooted out the door, in search of Oliver.

- - -

I was sitting by the lake, under the beech tree, when I heard a faint rustle and slam, I shook it off as Hagrid or something. Instead I stared at the lake, which was a slight sapphire blue, or at least that's how Charlotte would describe it, reflecting slightly the bright sapphire sky that night, which was littered with thousands of tiny stars.

I heard some more rustling, and turned to face the sound, and came face to face with, none other than, Charlotte, the girl of my dreams, stunning, amazing, wonderful Charlotte.

I decided on a smile, and a "Hey."

She quickly responded with a, "Hiya Trish!" _Oh god I wish she would say I love you to me._

"Wanna sit?" I asked politely.

"Sure," and sat down she did, right next to me, so close that I could feel the heat coming out of her body, which was incased in a light blue sweatshirt and dark blue jeans. Of course it wasn't too close, but close enough for me to want to lean in and kiss her.

"Trish," she said after an awkward silence, only punctured earlier by the sound of the lake and 'Winthrop the Giant Squid.'

"Yeah," I mumbled, seeing as I could smell her hair right now, it smelled like oranges. I could not see her hair in the dim light, but it fell in soft waves around her face.

"I wanted to know something," she said, obviously prolonging the asking of 'something' by pausing to let me speak.

"Shoot," I said, unafraid, which I should have been, considering which came out of her mouth after that.

"I was wondering, do you sometimes think of me as more than a friend?" _WHAT! Well **that** was certainly unexpected! What to say… what to say, but don't pause too long, don't want to get her upset…._

"W-well," I stuttered in my nervousness, "um…"

"The reason I ask, Oliver, is because, this weird stuff between us," she pointed her fingers from me to her, her auburn hair (that's teh color it turned out to be, her natural one, the way I always liked it) swishing slightly, "it's been there since truth or dare. And there's something between us, and I'm hoping you notice it too," _Well that is a mouthful! But she's right…_

"Well…"

- - -

"…It's just that, I don't know, I think so," he mumbled away from me, so it was barely audible.

"I know," I said softly, and then I- but before I tell you, you got to understand, I was completely in love, and I was sure of it, and he just smelled _so_ good, like grass and quidditch, but clean! And well I kinda lost it and…- kissed him. Right. On. The. Lips. Then and there.

After we broke apart, he asked, "Does that mean…?"

"Yes, I love you Oliver."

"Me too," he said, then paused, seeming to ponder something, then said, slowly and carefully, as if wondering what he was getting himself into, "I know what you want."

"What?" I asked genuinely curious, I mean, come on how could HE know?

"You can call me Ollie," he said bashfully.

"Well," I said smirking, "That was number two, this," I leaned in to kiss him again, "Is number one."

- - -

I shuffled away, out of my hiding place behind a bush and smirked, "Finally."

_**Fin.**_


End file.
